Posted by
Captain Lulu on
December 14, 2009 at
3:47 pm
‘Twas the night before pillaging and all around the boat
Not a pirate was stirring not even the goat;
The rigging was tied to the masthead with care
In hopes that a good breeze soon would be there;
The mates were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of gold coins danced in their heads.
And Lulu in leggings and I sporting a bruise,
Had just laid out plans for our long winter cruise.
When out in the harbor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the deck to see what was the matter.
Away to the porthole I broke like a bass,
Tore open the latch and pulled back the glass.
The moon on the breast of the! new risen tide
Gave luster of midday to the pistol on my side,
When what to my wondering “eye” should appear,
But a miniature galleon with eight tiny cannoneers,
With an ugly old captain having stinky old feet,
I knew in a moment it must be Pirate Pete.
More rapid than bluefish his coursers they came,
And he cursed and bellowed and called them by name;
“Now, Dog Breath! now Dungeon! now Prattle! and Villain!
On Gull Turd! and Culled Fish! on Blubber! and Blunder!
To the top of the forecastle! to the top of the sprit!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away! “ they lit!
As salt spray before the wild hurricane in the sky,
When they met with an obstacle let cannon shot fly,
So up to the life boats the coursers they flew,
With a galleon full of booty and old miserable Pete too!
And then in a twinkling I heard on the skeg,
The pawing and prancing of each little peg leg,
As I drew in my hook and was turning around,
Down the gangway old Pete came with a bound.
He was dressed all in frills from his head to his belt,
And all his clothes were stinking of barnacles and kelp.
A chest full of loot he lay by his side,
And he looked like a plunderer just trying to hide.
His eyes how bloodshot , his dimples how paunchy,
His cheeks all ashen, his nose big and all raunchy.
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a knot,
And the ratty old beard on his face was that of a sot.
The stump of a bottle he held tight in his gums,
Was half filled with but two types of rums.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he bellowed like a fish made of jelly.
He was chubby and plump a right miserable old cad,
And I shuddered when I saw him like a wee little lad.
A wink of his eye and a turn of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread!
He spoke many words, but none I should write,
Then emptied all our booty bags, and ran out into the night.
And laying a hook aside of his nose,
And giving a arrgh up the companionway he rose,
He sprang to his galleon, to his mates gave the signal,
And away they all sailed, soundless, not even a whistle.
But I heard him exclaim ere they sailed out of sight,
I’ll be back for more treasure before another fortnight.
See you next season, help us get our treasure back from that Scurvy Dog Pete!
Merry Christmas to All!
Sincerely,
Capt. Crunch & Capt. Lulu
